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Be aware of the characteristics of grief

by Harold Carey Jr

The death of a loved one sets off profound grief that can affect every part of someone’s life.
According to Memorial Sloan Kettering cancer center, grieving people often feel overwhelmed and unable to tolerate their feelings.
Here are seven things that bereaved people should know:
1. It will get better. Some studies say there is a two-year grief cycle before life really begins to resemble something normal.
2. You can handle the grief. Move through the pain by making space for it. Take breaks, go for a walk, stretch, sit quietly.
3. Nap, sleep more and drink water. Grief is exhausting so be kind to yourself. Try to avoid alcohol, since it may make grief feel worse.
4. When grief hits, think about it as a loop. Your calm may suddenly give way to sadness and crying, but that’s not the end. The calm place will come again and you will come back to serenity.
5. It’s not just sadness. Grief can be a collection of emotions: Anger, regret, relief, fear, grief, sadness, loss, guilt. All these feelings are normal.
6. Look for the meaning. Some have said grief itself seems useless, just suffering that seems to have no point. But you may also find room for a sense of peace, or it may realign your priorities. Be open to meaning.
7. Proceed gently. Pray, take a bath, avoid emotional TV or movies, but enjoy old favorites. Try not to make huge, impulsive changes in your life or lifestyle. Maybe quitting the job you love shouldn’t happen right now.

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