Canadian psychologists say the average person apologizes four times a week. But 46 percent of the apologies are to friends, 22 percent are to strangers, 11 percent are to romantic partners, and only 7 percent are to family members.
These are the basic types of apologies we make.
* The heartfelt apology: A completely earnest mea culpa that expresses regret for the pain you inflicted.
* The strategic apology: Ends a fight or stops the other person from hurting, even if you feel it wasn’t your fault.
* The defensive apology: A rarely effective maneuver that defends your actions as well as offering contrition.
* The contingent apology: Offered if you don’t know or care what you’ve done. “I’m sorry ‘if’ I’ve done … .”
* The too-late apology: An expression of regret given days, months or years too late.
* The bully apology: Given only to manipulate someone or as a token apology for bad behavior.
Saying ‘I’m sorry’ to friends, but not to family
Lowering the light bill
Consumers have been conscientious about buying energy efficient appliances and light bulbs, but according to the UK Energy Research Center many are now actually using more energy.
Before energy efficient appliances and lights, consumers carefully turned off lights and limited electric use. However, after buying an energy-efficient dishwasher, they run it more often or when it’s not full. Studies also show that people who use energy-efficient lights lose 5 percent to 12 percent of expected utility bill savings by leaving lights on longer.
With energy-efficient heating and cooling, studies show consumers feel less guilty about setting the heat a degree or two higher in winter and or lower in summer.
By doing these things, they actually defeat the purpose of saving energy.
Why people are happier on weekends
When you can decide for yourself what you will do (autonomy), have more time with family and friends (relatedness) and can do things you’re good at (competency), you are happier. That’s why psychologists say both men and women feel better emotionally and physically on weekends.
The weekend effect isn’t the same, however, for those who regularly work on weekends and have other days off. They probably feel they have more autonomy, relatedness and feeling of competence on days like Tuesday and Wednesday. That effect was not part of the study published in the Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology.
Autonomy, positive relations with co-workers, and feelings of competence make people on the job feel good too.
About real estate, probate and your heirs
Here’s what a will can and can’t do
About 41 percent of Americans don’t have a will. If you are one of them, you could be leaving a tangled legal hassle to your family.
Wills affect only probate property, which is whatever you individually own.
A house owned by spouses is not probate property. If you and your wife own a home together, when one of you dies, the house passes directly to the other.
If you share ownership of investment property with an uncle or a couple of cousins, you need to have a will in order to designate who gets your share.
One advantage of probate is that it allows a certain amount of time for creditors to come forward. Then there is a cutoff. Any other claims are barred.
Note that there are a number of things a will won’t do. Life insurance goes to the person named as the beneficiary. Saying in your will that someone else gets it has no effect. Bank accounts and certificates of deposit can have a pay-on-death designation. A will can’t change that POD designation.
A will probably won’t let you avoid probate entirely. It’s a state court procedure that oversees the administration of your probate property. In most states, the process is not difficult and not very expensive. There are exceptions, such as California and Florida, where probate costs more.
The more complex the family is, including children of various marriages, adopted children and children with special needs, the more important it is to have an estate-planning lawyer draft a will and possibly a trust.
If your real estate is in more than one state, it’s wise to create a trust so the estate won’t have to be probated in each state. When funded with properly titled assets, a trust can also provide for beneficiaries with special needs and could help minimize any estate taxes.
A trust is not as expensive to set up as people think it is. If a will costs $250, a trust will probably cost $750 and up, depending on what you put into it.
Camping enthusiasts find fun in great outdoors
Some call it camping, others call it a tent revival. Either way, couples and families are finding new ways to enjoy the great outdoors.
Dad might love to stay in the wilds and go fishing. Kids might like it too because they can ride in the boat, hike in the woods and stay in a fancy tent (family tent sales grew by 17 percent last year and backpacking grew by 18.5 percent).
Different ways of camping bring comforts that could shock yesteryear’s outdoor buffs, but they could be more fun for all. Some campgrounds have food delivery, concierge services, skate parks, swimming pools, putt-putt golf and Wi-Fi service.
Campgrounds can be like a small town where everyone is friendly and there’s lots of camaraderie. Some people book the same spot each year so they can be with other annual campers and enjoy their company again.
It’s fun to rent an RV for a stay at a favorite campground. People from all walks of life are doing it, not just Grandma and Grandpa. You’ll find every kind of camping vehicle in a facility from tiny campers to huge trailers.
In either case, people still spend most of their time outdoors, seated on lawn chairs, going for walks or taking part in campground activities. And they can still afford to go to town for a fine dinner.